I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
