i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
