What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
