ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
