how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
