I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
