He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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