Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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