he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
