Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
