we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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