if you like me you must not know who I am
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
