My nipple is on Facebook.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
