We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
