She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Randomize
