Me too!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
