Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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