i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
