I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
