but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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