stop calling my apartment porn island.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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