So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
