my mouth tastes like poor choices
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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