I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
