Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
