check it out our google latitudes are spooning
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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