So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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