i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
