I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
