its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
