very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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