Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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