I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
