so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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