I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
