uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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