There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
