How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
