i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
