Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
