K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Randomize
