well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
