So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Send help, water and tortillas.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
