At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
