i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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