After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just puked most of my soul out..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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