i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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