She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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