Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
