mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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