Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
